divorce with children is a tricky little thing...
Divorce with children is a tricky little thing. It never goes away, and even though people say that your children are resilient and not to worry, as a Mom I still worry. Yes. We all know that worrying is a waste of energy! Right?! Well, guess what, a Mother's mind does not work that way. In fact, my own Mother tells me that she still worries about me now. Funny thing. What I mean by it "doesn't go away" is your life is completely different and hopefully for the better. But it is different and it is a big change. My kids live with me most of the time and then a few nights a week at their Dads. That is a change. They seem to do okay with it, but sometimes you don't really know...even if you ask them. So you worry if they are happy, you worry if they are okay with this change...and most of the time, even with little tidbits of information, you just go with your gut. ...and there have been times when they were away and my gut felt totally ill.
So what do you do? You just live. You just move forward and you cannot stop moving...not even for a second. You spend as much time with your children as you can and you just love them. Of course, they may drive you crazy sometimes, but that is normal. I know that I just don't want to wake up someday and realize I barely spent any time with my kids when they were little...and there they go to college. My children are little now, so I have time. It isn't easy though.
So, divorce with children, wears you down and you go through about every emotion known to man. It is like childbirth, in a sense, because you do not know what it is truly like and you really can't explain it until you have gone through it yourself. I am a much happier person now, and I really only worry about how my kids will turn out. But even though I sometimes wish I could control everything...I can't. No one is perfect and if they claim to be or try to be then they are an idiot. Nevertheles...if you can wake up every morning, look yourself in the mirror and feel good about how you treat other people, yourself and your kids (if you have them)...then I think that is a good thing.
So now, I plan, but I try to live for the day or the moment. Yeah...sometimes that means screaming at my dogs and asking my son not to ask me the same question 65,000 times :)...but that is life. At one point I thought it was a "Beaver Cleaver" life with a few rainbows and unicorns thrown in, but it really isn't...and honestly that is okay with me. Life is filled with emotion and ups and downs.
So, on this Thanksgiving eve, I am thankful for being able to spend more time with my children even during their crazy moments...and I am thankful for finally being able to move forward and not stop.
So what do you do? You just live. You just move forward and you cannot stop moving...not even for a second. You spend as much time with your children as you can and you just love them. Of course, they may drive you crazy sometimes, but that is normal. I know that I just don't want to wake up someday and realize I barely spent any time with my kids when they were little...and there they go to college. My children are little now, so I have time. It isn't easy though.
So, divorce with children, wears you down and you go through about every emotion known to man. It is like childbirth, in a sense, because you do not know what it is truly like and you really can't explain it until you have gone through it yourself. I am a much happier person now, and I really only worry about how my kids will turn out. But even though I sometimes wish I could control everything...I can't. No one is perfect and if they claim to be or try to be then they are an idiot. Nevertheles...if you can wake up every morning, look yourself in the mirror and feel good about how you treat other people, yourself and your kids (if you have them)...then I think that is a good thing.
So now, I plan, but I try to live for the day or the moment. Yeah...sometimes that means screaming at my dogs and asking my son not to ask me the same question 65,000 times :)...but that is life. At one point I thought it was a "Beaver Cleaver" life with a few rainbows and unicorns thrown in, but it really isn't...and honestly that is okay with me. Life is filled with emotion and ups and downs.
So, on this Thanksgiving eve, I am thankful for being able to spend more time with my children even during their crazy moments...and I am thankful for finally being able to move forward and not stop.
Comments