Facebook Is Fueling Cyber-bullying

Parenting is about a million times harder these days.  So, this post is for you Mark Zuckerberg and Facebook (just to start).  
When I was growing up, our parents did not have to deal with cell phones, texting, sexting, social media, Facebook, Instagram, and every other form of electronic media.  No.  They DID NOT!  But, the world, as we know it, has changed drastically, and now we as parents not only have to know "what kind of party" are kids are going to...but we also need to make sure that some other kid with no self-esteem is not destroying their reputation or self-esteem on Facebook or sending massive texts to all of their friends with information that is evil and not true.  And - why do they do it, probably because they have no guidance, no self-esteem, emotional issues etc.  Yeah- it isn't fair, but unfortunately it is a reality.  
Mark Zuckerberg and his Facebook team are the first company I would like to address.  Yes Mark & Facebook staff, I have a profile on Facebook.  I had to start one several years ago, when I sold advertising online.  And now, the only reason I really keep it is to keep in touch with some of my friends and family and to keep an eye on what is going on in my daughter's teenage circle.  
Mark- you and your Facebook team are making billions of dollars with Facebook, but you have little to NO true parental controls, content removal, protection against bullies, protection against sharing explicit content with children under the age of 18 etc.  
What you have arranged is a list of places a child and or parent can go, a number to call, and or a website to visit.  You also give some helpful tips (insert sarcasm) like "How to keep your child safe on Facebook..." #1- Don't share your password...#2 - Don't put any of your personal information on Facebook....blah blah blah.
Well- all that stuff doesn't matter when the cyber-bullying has already happened, their self-esteem is already damaged, someone already re-posted a nasty picture of them, evil rumors have already been spread and now they have decided that cutting themselves or God Forbid suicide is the only answer.  
Their parents keep asking them "What's wrong?" are you..."Okay?" They take them to a therapist, the school counselor, give them pills and crap for their anxiety, depression, anger- management!! What is all this stuff.  
And I will not accept someone saying "Oh- well Amy it's not Facebook's fault, you know... freedom of speech etc..."  REALLY! Facebook along with many other social media outlets have to take more responsibility because YES- they are partially to blame.  Here's an idea- how about if you made Facebook intelligent enough to recognize when someone was sharing explicit information with a child under the age of 18 and maybe there would be a pop-up or it would just automatically block it. And that just scratches the surface of the entire problem.

Let's look at some of the "help" that Facebook offers to parents and their children (and mind you- it is in the small blue "help" section at the very bottom of your Facebook page.  You can see it in your personal drop down too, but you would have to search for "Parental Help" or something to even get to it.  Help for parents and their kids is NOT listed as a drop down.  Let's LOOK below, shall we:

Facebook-2014

"Can I monitor my child’s activity on Facebook or delete my child's account?

We are generally forbidden by privacy laws against giving unauthorized access to someone who is not an account holder. We encourage parents to exercise any discretion they can on their own computers and in overseeing their kids' internet use. Please talk to your kids, educate them about internet safety, and ask them to use our extensive privacy settings.

If your child is experiencing abuse on Facebook, we encourage you to ask them to log in to their account and report it."

"Suicide Prevention
If you've encountered a direct threat of suicide on Facebook, please contact law enforcement or a suicide hotline immediately.

I need to find a suicide hotline for myself or a friend.
How do I help someone who's posted suicidal content on Facebook?
If you've encountered a direct threat of suicide on Facebook, please contact law enforcement or a suicide hotline immediately.

You can also:
Report suicidal content to Facebook
Review resources about identifying and responding to suicide warning signals
Learn more about the resources available to members of the US military community"

"How can I help my teen use Facebook wisely?
Depending on your teen’s age, you might go through their privacy shortcuts and account settings together and make selections you’re both comfortable with. No matter how old your child is, we recommend that you make using Facebook responsibly part of an ongoing conversation about the internet and technology. Talk about your expectations about how they'll behave and help them understand what’s safe and what they need to be aware. Be sure your teen understands these basics of internet safety:

Never share your password
Think before you post
Only accept friend requests from people you know personally
Report anything that looks suspicious (learn how)"
 
"Where else can I report inappropriate or objectionable actions that have been taken against children?
Facebook takes the safety of the people who use it very seriously and takes significant efforts to make sure that the interactions encountered on the site are done so in a safe manner. We strongly urge everyone to report suspicious people and sensitive content when they come across it on the site. You can notify Facebook of any inappropriate people or content by clicking on the "Report" link located throughout the site. People under the age of 18 are also encouraged to talk to a parent or a responsible adult immediately if someone online says or does something to make them feel uncomfortable or threatened in any way."
All information referenced from Facebook 2014

Now let's look at some recent Cyber-bullying Statistics: 

Referenced from Answer.com 2014

  • Four in ten teens (43%) have experienced online harassment. 
  • Girls are twice as likely as boys to be victims and perpetrators, usually through email or a social networking sites, where they typically engage in social sabotage. 
  • Cyberbullying is most prevalent among 14 to 16 year olds. 
  • Teens who share their identities and thoughts on social networking sites, such as Facebook, are more likely to be targets than are those who do not use social networking sites (39% have been cyber-bullied in someway, compared with 22% of online teens who do not use social networks).     

 National phone survey of 935 teenagers by Pew Internet and American Life, November 2006 
Here are some additional cyber-bullying statistics from iSafe:
  • 22% of students know someone who has been bullied online. 
  • 19% of students admit to saying something hurtful to others online. 
  • 12% of students have personally become upset by strangers online. 
  • 90% of middle school students have had their feelings hurt online. 
  • 75% have visited a web site bashing another student 
  • 40% have had their password(s) stolen and changed by a bully 
  • Cyber-bullying has led to at least 4 cases of suicide in the United States and many more abroad. Suicide related to cyber-bullying is called “cyberbullycide” 
Something has to change soon!  I am aware that social media is not going to go away, but the controls on sites like Facebook must improve immediately.  There is no protection for our children, there are no notifications to parents, there are no true parental controls.  
We are out there trying to work a full-time job, protect our children from strangers, provide for them, and try to instill good morales and values for them, but as parents our words are continuously cut down by what they are learning online, the post their friend shared with them with sexually explicit content from a share from her weird Uncle, the cuss words & weird YouTube videos that were posted on their timeline by a friend of a friend...they see it all before they even know it is happening or can even block the person...one by one.  
I could go on and on, but it is what it is and something has to change soon, because we as parents ARE NOT going to be able to protect them from everything they see and experience online.  But- we cannot completely shut them out because that is our world now.  BUT we can ask or DEMAND that companies like Facebook, with its target audience, must design and implement much better safeguards for our youth, because right now all it is doing is fueling an even bigger fire.

-Amy



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