"Defensiveness only comes into play when a person has already felt as though he's done something he shouldn't."
So...the kids are on the bus, coffee is in my hand, and we have a client meeting at 9am...perfect time to kick back and write a post. I am a writer, I am a true blogger, and I write my opinion with facts sprinkled through. I want your opinion on my blog today. If you have a moment please respond, and it will really help me with my research. I do a lot of research for school right now, and the topics of research can start at mathematics in K-12 and run through the issues of parents, students, and the psychology of both.
Currently, there is a lot of research surrounding the modern parent, the indulgent parent, and or the hoovering parent. I have researched and wrote about a lot of these topics. I have wrote about our "PC" or politically correct society for a long time, and I feel it is ruining our children. The parents who can "go against the grain" and parent their children the way our parents did will ultimately come out triumphant. They will still deal with issues and ups and downs, but overall they will understand discipline, structure, respect for adults/elders, and an appreciation for what they have. I am talking about parenting that sounds like this, "Did you hit your sister?" "Yes I did Mom." ..."Go to your room, you are grounded for two days." PERIOD. But this is what we hear these days from the "Modern Parent" in our society. "Did you hit your sister?" "Ohh..I guess...I'm sorry...I didn't mean to hit her" "Well, Okay...just don't do it again...here is a snack." Parents want to be their kids best friend and they are afraid to discipline them. The following is from my research. It is written by Suzanne Venker on March 22, 2010:
Currently, there is a lot of research surrounding the modern parent, the indulgent parent, and or the hoovering parent. I have researched and wrote about a lot of these topics. I have wrote about our "PC" or politically correct society for a long time, and I feel it is ruining our children. The parents who can "go against the grain" and parent their children the way our parents did will ultimately come out triumphant. They will still deal with issues and ups and downs, but overall they will understand discipline, structure, respect for adults/elders, and an appreciation for what they have. I am talking about parenting that sounds like this, "Did you hit your sister?" "Yes I did Mom." ..."Go to your room, you are grounded for two days." PERIOD. But this is what we hear these days from the "Modern Parent" in our society. "Did you hit your sister?" "Ohh..I guess...I'm sorry...I didn't mean to hit her" "Well, Okay...just don't do it again...here is a snack." Parents want to be their kids best friend and they are afraid to discipline them. The following is from my research. It is written by Suzanne Venker on March 22, 2010:
"There are countless problems related to parenting about which people remain tight lipped, and the reason they do is precisely because of the scenario above: When you put yourself out there, you're going to risk offending someone. There's no way around it.
I understand people's reticence to speak up, but here's the thing: The politically correct environment in which we live has literally crippled our ability to solve social problems. It seems to me that if a person is certain he's done the right thing for the right reasons, there's no reason to get upset over someone pointing out a simple fact. Defensiveness only comes into play when a person has already felt as though he's done something he shouldn't."
Another issue she talks about is the fact that some parents think they are not trapped in this "PC" environment, but they actually are. They defend their child's every move right or wrong, they do not listen to other parents if there is a problem, they want to be their kids best friend forever and they refuse to hear the truth about anything. They can do no wrong and their child can do no wrong. Period. Back in the day, when I was growing up, we lived by a few simple rules...rules that we don't see many parents practicing these days. They were "treat others the way you want to be treated"; "Tell the truth, because you will get in more trouble if you lie"; "Respect all adults"; "Do not talk back or even question my decision"; "Always say please and thank you and excuse me".
Pretty easy...right? Well...when you don't follow those simple rules, children get confused and they don't feel that security or direction. When parents don't lead by example, then children start to make up their own rules. When parents don't have rules, then children don't think there are any.
I am a very reasonable person, but I do make mistakes, bad choices, etc...but the difference is that, most of the time, I learn from them. Not only to better myself but to better my children. They are not perfect either, but that is life...learn, learn, learn, and make choices...if they are bad choices then pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and learn from them...help your children learn from them.
So, there are a million ways to parent...you can be their best friend, always believe them, spank them when they make a mistake, scold them and ground them when they act out, or always blame someone else for their issues. I am sure these parenting ways will continue to develop and change over time.
But here is what I think is the bottom line...kids will be kids...and they will lie, they will say mean things sometimes, and they won't always make the "right" choices. But they don't know any different and especially if they are not being taught. If kids don't have good role models and people to "show them the ropes" then they will start to make their own decisions and their own rules. Survival of the fittest in a sense.
So, you may not agree with me, and that is okay. But you might want to ask yourself if you are making excuses for issues, avoiding the truth, or are you standing up for your kids...meaning...not being a "PC" parent and finally listening and doing what is right. This is only my opinion, but I would appreciate your thoughts please. Peace.
I am a very reasonable person, but I do make mistakes, bad choices, etc...but the difference is that, most of the time, I learn from them. Not only to better myself but to better my children. They are not perfect either, but that is life...learn, learn, learn, and make choices...if they are bad choices then pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and learn from them...help your children learn from them.
So, there are a million ways to parent...you can be their best friend, always believe them, spank them when they make a mistake, scold them and ground them when they act out, or always blame someone else for their issues. I am sure these parenting ways will continue to develop and change over time.
But here is what I think is the bottom line...kids will be kids...and they will lie, they will say mean things sometimes, and they won't always make the "right" choices. But they don't know any different and especially if they are not being taught. If kids don't have good role models and people to "show them the ropes" then they will start to make their own decisions and their own rules. Survival of the fittest in a sense.
So, you may not agree with me, and that is okay. But you might want to ask yourself if you are making excuses for issues, avoiding the truth, or are you standing up for your kids...meaning...not being a "PC" parent and finally listening and doing what is right. This is only my opinion, but I would appreciate your thoughts please. Peace.
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