MY Blank Slate...
Every time I write a new post I get to start on a fresh, new, blank, untainted piece of paper. Well...it is a blank computer screen...
It sometimes makes me think of life, fresh starts and new memories...and hope. As I handle all of the little things that creep up on us, in life, there are always those brief moments that remind you that everything will be okay...it will get better...there is some hope.
Like this one...I try, on a daily basis, to effectively communicate with my "tweener" daughter, but in her eyes I am not cool, I don't know things she knows, OMG & LOL! Right Right! I don't want to be her best friend (oh- sorry BFF), but I would like to be her hero from time to time. So, we are talking tonight, and for some reason this came up...I told her that I dated the captain of the football team (Hi Tim!) when I was in high school. I mean, I can't even recall why I would have told her that. She stopped in her tracks and said, "OMG Mom! That is so super cool!" Okay! I thought...one point for me a zero points for the nerdy Mom that I thought I was. We kept talking, and she said what else...so, I dug deep into my closet of "cool" stories, and I said ..."well I was on the homecoming court in high school and I was voted best personality in my class." She seemed impressed, but not as impressed as dating the captain of the football team (thanks Tim! :)!! Man, I really scored the "cool" points with that one. Too funny...
So, when I look at where I have been, where I am, and where I am going they all look very different. I am not sure why. Do I wish that I could still have that "white picket fence" of life that apparently everyone "dreams" about...?....No. I really don't. I mean, when I see my friends on fb etc. who are still married to the same person, have a huge house, and look super happy on their vacations to Italy...am I a little envious? Yes. The truth is...I am...but I also know that I have been put on this "mission" and or "life path" for a reason. My "untainted piece of paper" is just beginning, and it can only get better from here.
So, I need to savor the moments when my daughter thinks I am "cool" if only for a minute. I need to suck up the love, from my son, that I see in different situations every day. When he asks me a million and one questions, I need to take a deep breath and answer, then, like he only asked one. He is also a blank piece of paper, and the writing that appears is what he sees from me and others every day of his life.
I wish that I had a crystal ball. That I knew what the future held...and that our blank piece of paper was eventually going to be filled with "rainbows & unicorns"...but I don't have a crystal ball...I only have intuition...hope for a brighter tomorrow...and my high school "coolness" according to my daughter. Right now, that is what I have, and right now I am okay with that.
Peace...Amy
It sometimes makes me think of life, fresh starts and new memories...and hope. As I handle all of the little things that creep up on us, in life, there are always those brief moments that remind you that everything will be okay...it will get better...there is some hope.
Like this one...I try, on a daily basis, to effectively communicate with my "tweener" daughter, but in her eyes I am not cool, I don't know things she knows, OMG & LOL! Right Right! I don't want to be her best friend (oh- sorry BFF), but I would like to be her hero from time to time. So, we are talking tonight, and for some reason this came up...I told her that I dated the captain of the football team (Hi Tim!) when I was in high school. I mean, I can't even recall why I would have told her that. She stopped in her tracks and said, "OMG Mom! That is so super cool!" Okay! I thought...one point for me a zero points for the nerdy Mom that I thought I was. We kept talking, and she said what else...so, I dug deep into my closet of "cool" stories, and I said ..."well I was on the homecoming court in high school and I was voted best personality in my class." She seemed impressed, but not as impressed as dating the captain of the football team (thanks Tim! :)!! Man, I really scored the "cool" points with that one. Too funny...
So, when I look at where I have been, where I am, and where I am going they all look very different. I am not sure why. Do I wish that I could still have that "white picket fence" of life that apparently everyone "dreams" about...?....No. I really don't. I mean, when I see my friends on fb etc. who are still married to the same person, have a huge house, and look super happy on their vacations to Italy...am I a little envious? Yes. The truth is...I am...but I also know that I have been put on this "mission" and or "life path" for a reason. My "untainted piece of paper" is just beginning, and it can only get better from here.
So, I need to savor the moments when my daughter thinks I am "cool" if only for a minute. I need to suck up the love, from my son, that I see in different situations every day. When he asks me a million and one questions, I need to take a deep breath and answer, then, like he only asked one. He is also a blank piece of paper, and the writing that appears is what he sees from me and others every day of his life.
I wish that I had a crystal ball. That I knew what the future held...and that our blank piece of paper was eventually going to be filled with "rainbows & unicorns"...but I don't have a crystal ball...I only have intuition...hope for a brighter tomorrow...and my high school "coolness" according to my daughter. Right now, that is what I have, and right now I am okay with that.
Peace...Amy
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