Be "Present" In Your Child's Life
You know it's going to be interesting when someone starts writing with "in my opinion".... :)
In my opinion, if you have never gone through it (divorce with children) yourself then you have absolutely no idea what it is like and or what it entails. I think it is funny how people, who have never walked down this "life-path", seem to think that they know everything about it. They somehow telepathically know how you are feeling, how tough it is, what your kids really think, and how you should solve all of your problems. I mean, I appreciate them being nice & somewhat supportive, but they have no idea and should never claim that they do. Just listen & nod...that's all we want...
I mean...every Mom & Dad worries about what kinds of kids their son and or daughter is hanging out with; who are they talking to on fb (which I have come to dis-like- it makes parenting harder than ever); who are they texting & what are they saying...the list goes on. And, honestly divorced or not, all parents have to deal with these issues in our current society.
Sometimes, both parents are truly "present" and sometimes, even if they are not divorced, they are NEVER "present". And when I say "present", I mean in the lives of their children. What are their kids doing, do they know where they are going, who they are talking to...did they know that their kid is bullying other kids at school, did they see that last post on fb & that last "sketchy" picture on Instagram that their daughter posted 5 secs ago? Did they? Did they do anything about it?
I mean, we can't control everything, but our job as parents (one of them) is to protect our children to the best of our ability. That means we can't be selfish and we cannot sit on our butts and do nothing!
In my opinion (there is that phrase again), parents have to be involved in the lives of their children, even more these days than any time in the past. Because, the outside influences just keep growing bigger, stronger, and casting a wider net every single day. I mean, kids these days at age 13 know more "junk" then I could have even imagined at that age...some of it I probably didn't even learn until I was in my mid 20's! Crazy & Scary!
When I was 13, I was taping songs from the radio; playing "kick the can" outside; catching tadpoles in the creek by our house; watching 5 or 6 channels on the T.V. (that is when my parents let Alan & I watch t.v.); building forts, under our ping pong table in our basement, with my Bro Alan and tape recording our voices as we tried to recreate our own versions of "Saturday Night Live" and or "Mr. Rogers"...I loved those times...and miss they innocence of those moments...You try to recreate those "types" of moments for your own children, but it just isn't the same. It can be close, but not exactly the same.
SO, what is my point...? Divorced, married, etc...whatever your situation, I just think it is so important to try and be "present" in your kids' lives...as much as possible...it might be 30 minutes, a whole day/week, or maybe just a moment...but, as tough as it can be sometimes, just take a deep breath and try to remember to be "present" (positive, listening, smiling, loving etc...) even if it is for just a brief moment...Peace.
In my opinion, if you have never gone through it (divorce with children) yourself then you have absolutely no idea what it is like and or what it entails. I think it is funny how people, who have never walked down this "life-path", seem to think that they know everything about it. They somehow telepathically know how you are feeling, how tough it is, what your kids really think, and how you should solve all of your problems. I mean, I appreciate them being nice & somewhat supportive, but they have no idea and should never claim that they do. Just listen & nod...that's all we want...
I mean...every Mom & Dad worries about what kinds of kids their son and or daughter is hanging out with; who are they talking to on fb (which I have come to dis-like- it makes parenting harder than ever); who are they texting & what are they saying...the list goes on. And, honestly divorced or not, all parents have to deal with these issues in our current society.
Sometimes, both parents are truly "present" and sometimes, even if they are not divorced, they are NEVER "present". And when I say "present", I mean in the lives of their children. What are their kids doing, do they know where they are going, who they are talking to...did they know that their kid is bullying other kids at school, did they see that last post on fb & that last "sketchy" picture on Instagram that their daughter posted 5 secs ago? Did they? Did they do anything about it?
I mean, we can't control everything, but our job as parents (one of them) is to protect our children to the best of our ability. That means we can't be selfish and we cannot sit on our butts and do nothing!
In my opinion (there is that phrase again), parents have to be involved in the lives of their children, even more these days than any time in the past. Because, the outside influences just keep growing bigger, stronger, and casting a wider net every single day. I mean, kids these days at age 13 know more "junk" then I could have even imagined at that age...some of it I probably didn't even learn until I was in my mid 20's! Crazy & Scary!
When I was 13, I was taping songs from the radio; playing "kick the can" outside; catching tadpoles in the creek by our house; watching 5 or 6 channels on the T.V. (that is when my parents let Alan & I watch t.v.); building forts, under our ping pong table in our basement, with my Bro Alan and tape recording our voices as we tried to recreate our own versions of "Saturday Night Live" and or "Mr. Rogers"...I loved those times...and miss they innocence of those moments...You try to recreate those "types" of moments for your own children, but it just isn't the same. It can be close, but not exactly the same.
SO, what is my point...? Divorced, married, etc...whatever your situation, I just think it is so important to try and be "present" in your kids' lives...as much as possible...it might be 30 minutes, a whole day/week, or maybe just a moment...but, as tough as it can be sometimes, just take a deep breath and try to remember to be "present" (positive, listening, smiling, loving etc...) even if it is for just a brief moment...Peace.